April (Fools) 2008

Important News!
High-End Audio For All! It's A Music Miracle!
Governments and central bankers finally agree on something!
Article By Steven R. Rochlin

  Today marks a truly triumphant day for Asians, South Americans, Russians, the United Kingdom, the United States and those residing within the European Union as a new initiative has been passed! This new initiative, called Music United Socially In Communities (M.U.S.I.C.), has a set of goals that are multifaceted and will bring about many benefits for the good of not just the financial sectors, it will also further the education and skill level of a vast workforce! On April 1 at 12pm local time each country will be announcing that, to aid in boosting their local economy and bringing about domestic happiness within the community, each household will be receiving a complete high-end audio system! This new act will not only produce much needed jobs within their respective community, it will aid in job training within the field of electronics and high technology. Another byproduct is that every household will be receiving a complete two-channel music reproduction free of charge, where it will create happiness.

At this point in the world's financial situation, M.U.S.I.C.'s ability to solve many complex financial and employment problems in such an easy manner that this solution was chosen as the fastest and best way to move towards recovery. With British and American financial entities needing to be bailed out by their perspective government, officials sought out ideas to reverse this trend before any more damage could occur. Heads of government secretly sought the advice of many within he private sector -- including the high-end audio -- for a much needed solutions during these troubling times. Creative Director of Enjoy the Music.com, Steven R. Rochlin, in concert with the owner of The Absolute Sound, Australian Hi-Fi, NOVO (CANADA HiFi), hi-fi+, HIFICRITIC, HiFi Media, and Hi-Fi World met for a weekend session in Jekyll Island to finalize what would now come to pass as M.U.S.I.C.

Our meeting went extremely well and we were able to finalize our ideas so that all the advantages would benefit everyone within the affected nations. Workers get jobs and much needed skills while everyone benefits including the country's government, as new jobs equal increased revenue. Under this new provision, those within the United States will be hired by American companies and produce goods. These high-end audio goods will be given away to the country's families. The same goes for Asian, South American, Russian, the United Kingdom, and those residing within the European Union. Each country will have locally-made high-end audio products distributed to families within their perspective country. The simplicity and genius was not lost on these other countries as the Queen herself presented the M.U.S.I.C. initiative, in a rare showing, within Parliament!

Scientific studies have shown that music not only sooths the savage beast, it has been said to increase the human mind's ability for advanced learning. What better way is there to make everyone happy than to give them a high-end audio system! While we could debate the relatively recent appearance of low quality electronics and, perhaps to some degree, that compressed audio has been part of the cause for worldwide discontent. It is hard to argue against the many benefits of high-resolution music and an appropriate system with which to enjoy it.

Due to high-end audio products demanding precision in construction techniques, on the job training will bring each country an increased labor force ready to tackle the demands of critical expertise necessary in other fields of endeavor. From acoustic engineering to digital processing and analog electronics, plus the needed handcrafted cabinetry necessary for loudspeakers.... High-end audio, unlike any other sector,  provides the perfect solution and variety so that each worker can translate their training to other careers of their choosing if they so desire.

If i may backtrack, walking up to the Congressional building last week i was quite nervous. Hundreds of combined hours have been spent carefully writing up the M.U.S.I.C. initiative and would have to present it in a manner that would make sense to all who attended this closed door meeting. Naturally there were many other presenters there, some with much higher degrees of learning and accomplishments. After all, what does a lowly guy like Yours Truly in combination with other high-end magazines know that much wiser and more diverse men do not? Some of those presenting their ideas were captains of their industry! To make a long story short, i made the presentation and waited outside. A few hours later, was called back and answered a few questions. Little did i know they were seeking a worldwide solution, and not simply one for the United States. A few days later i was flown to England, then to Brussels... all in secrecy mind you! 

It brings me joy to be able to be among the first to announce the M.U.S.I.C. initiative. The benefits it will not only help those in need today, my hopes are that it will mark a new era where high-end audio is brought back to the forefront. No longer will the world's population have to suffer through lackluster systems playing highly compressed (distorted?) music. The joys of high-resolution music will be heard around the world and hopefully bring everyone together in jubilation while singing and dancing to their favorite songs.

So today i want to thank the owners of The Absolute Sound, Australian Hi-Fi, NOVO (CANADA HiFi), hi-fi+, HIFICRITIC, HiFi Media, and Hi-Fi World, as they deserve a huge thanks from everyone around the world. Bravo! And remember, as i always say, in the end what really matters is that we all...

Enjoy the Music,

Steven R. Rochlin