April Fools Article!

What It Takes To Make Enjoy the Music.com's Review Magazine
An special sneak peek look into the inner workings of Enjoy the Music.com.
Article By Steven R. Rochlin

  Getting out a new issue of the Enjoy the Music.com Review Magazine takes much effort and concentration. First comes the many hours of deep meditation. As is customary, a minimum of four hours are spent each and every day seeking the divine wisdom to the Audio G-ds. We search only for His knowledge and wisdom as handed down to us though the ages.

After much reflection and deep meditation the Audio G-ds answer with reviews sent to us for publication by magical Elves who we choose to call Professional Reviewers. Meanwhile i, too, must write many articles and reviews to be read by our loyal readership. After rambling endlessly into my dictation machine the words are transformed by Happy Helen, my personal secretary.

Happy Helen does more than just dictation here at Enjoy the Music.com. She also masterfully makes coffee exotica on our Rocket espresso machine with just the right balance of bean, froth and sugar. Outstanding! Drinking a cup of her brew and smoking a great cigar is about as close to a "spiritual experience" as one can get. She also is the most amazing typist i have had the luxury to work with in all these years within the publication industry. Happy Helen seems to literally be bending over backwards to ensure that you, our loyal readership, receive the most professionally written articles and reviews ever graced the pages of a specialty audio e-zine.

Of course what would Happy Helen and i do all day if we did not have Heather, our daily musical DJ to play tunes from Abba to Zappa... and beyond. Whoever said women are not into audiophillia are just dumb idg-its. Sisters are doin' it for themselves! Heather spins the wax daily as Happy Heather and myself work feverishly to meet our end of the month deadline. While my hat is off to Heather for her great selection of tunes, it appears that she also is, er, um, hat-less as well. She apparently likes to spin a disproportionate amount of Barry White and Tom Jones tunes... especially after she saw the movie The Full Monty plus a bit of binge watching all 50 Shades Of Grey movies. You can take your hat off... and whip it good too!

Of course by the time the end of the month nears and we only have two days left to ensure you, our loyal readers receive the best efforts we can muster, it feels much like a high school student after taking the SAT exam. When the final edition is posted on our Review Magazine it is time for my monthly visit to the proctologist. Seems only he can find my head at times!

In the end we here at Enjoy the Music.com, a subsidiary of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe, hope that you find us offering the world's best specialty audio magazine anywhere in the universe. Please be kind to Happy Helen and Heather as they are here each and everyday ensuring you get the very best you ever had each and every month. Thanks for taking the time to read what it takes to make our magazine available to you and as always, in the end what really matters is that you...

Enjoy the music,

Steven R. Rochlin