April Fools Joke!
Exotic Automobile Manufacturer Offers 'The Audiophile Car'
For decades audiophiles have been stuck to the confines of their homes to reach musical bliss. In these, usually, darkened rooms they would toil away tweaking and tuning looking for the next nirvana. It brings me great joy to announce the very first auto manufacturer to satisfy the needs of audiophiles worldwide. This next generation vehicle will suit both those looking for style and substance.
It is no secret that home audio is doomed from the beginning with lackluster alternating current. This problem is exacerbated with the use of dedicated power lines, power filters, regenerators, and balancers. The Audiophile Car, or TAC for short, removes this entire exercise by being 100% battery powered! Fulfilling both the music lover and environmentalist, this project got off the ground with using 100% battery power. Audiophiles have long complained about how the car environment is very noisy, and so the advantages of drawing on pure clean power with the ultra-quiet operation of electrical motors was one of the many keys.
Another key factor was seating position. Any audiophile worth their salt will only buy concert tickets that place them centered within the venue. As such The Audiophile Car has a single seat mounted in the center of the cabin. Seen here is the listening chair, with the option of two others being added to provide your friends a hint to the grand achievement you have so rightly earned. Also note the curved interior, which is dampened with special material to greatly reduce outside noises plus takes advantage of sound absorbing material to virtually eliminate unwanted time smearing sound reflections from reaching your ears. Ease of use is also factored in as directly to the right are controls for every device, which is specially stored in a temperature controlled environment behind the passenger compartment.
Audiophile Meets Computer Geekdom
Also of note is that the use of 56 total DAC chipsets, unlike normal run-of-the-mill audio systems with a mere four per channel with 14 channels, here we have 7 channels octal-balanced operating at 64-bit/512kHz each to ensure all signals are of the highest in fidelity. This equips every channel of The Audiophile Car with the cleanest, lowest noise digital signal processing of for each of the 5 main channels plus two dedicated balanced subwoofer channels. Controlling firmware is upgraded via easy to access USB 3 port and OTA as technology marches forward. The universal digital disc transport mechanism uses a 100% custom made triple laser assembly, where each laser has a special variably tunable frequency range. As of this writing they would not tell me the exact span of frequencies, yet they inferred it is ready for everything from the decades old CD to SACD with four times the highest range offered by mass-produced laser assemblies of today!
There is also 10 terabytes of RAID via SSD with 1TB of buffering onboard memory. For the techno-savvy, average read speed is 2GBs with an average write speed of 1 GBs. Data can be stored via disc copy, Wi-Fi 6, wireless Internet (including 5G LTE cellular) plus has security support for standards including WEP, WPA-PSK and WPA2-PSK. Of course every music streaming service is easy integrated, and remains state-of-the-art via automatic OTA updates. Naturally more storage and the supporting hardware can be added or substituted as new standard and faster drives become available.
Driver Of The Future
i am hesitant to say the system has a sound at all, as a few turns of the dial and choices bring about sometime subtle, sometimes drastic changes. Ease of tuning can be made by varying the bias or tube variant. Oh, before i forget the system also has the sound of, say, various generations of tubes where applicable (i.e. WE300B from the 1950's, 1960's, and the newly manufactured version).