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April 2002
April Fools Joke!

Enjoy the Music.com Review Magazine
Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Paralyzer
Review By Steven R. Rochlin
Click here to e-mail reviewer

 

Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Paralyzer Unit

 

  Audiophiles worldwide have long been looking for a way to enhance the enjoyment of their music. This has lead to inevitable upgrades in various parts of their music reproduction system. This piece will enhance the transparency of lesser recordings, or reduce them if you are tired of hyper-reality. Like your system's transparency, the imaging can be tuned to fine Zeiss-like focus, or into a blur. For those using older solid-state devices or push-pull amplifiers, the harmonics know may be the key for those looking for that zero feedback single-ended tube sound!

For me, the most important adjustment the Yin Yang Labs Graphametric Parlyzer can achieve is in adding real talent to those pop music recordings. While there may be gifted people who lack the talent, imagine Britney Spears with ten times the talent! Alas, even with this adjustment i found that Britney was still the lifeless sell-out she is. Seems that when you start out with zero talent, zero multiplied by ten still equals zero. On the other end of the scale, incredible individuals such as Miles Davis, Billie Holiday, Buddy Guy and the like have so much talent that any adjustment of the talent knob appears to have no effect at all. Of course in the end what really matters is that you...

Enjoy the Music,

Steven R. Rochlin

 

Tonality

99 44/100

Sub-bass (10 Hz - 60 Hz)

99 44/100

Mid-bass (80 Hz - 200 Hz)

99 44/100

Midrange (200 Hz - 3,000 Hz)

99 44/100

High-frequencies (3,000 Hz on up)

99 44/100

Attack

99 44/100

Decay

99 44/100

Inner Resolution

99 44/100

Soundscape width front

99 44/100

Soundscape width rear

99 44/100

Soundscape depth behind speakers

99 44/100

Soundscape extension into the room

99 44/100

Imaging

99 44/100

Fit and Finish

99 44/100

Self Noise

99 44/100

Value for the Money

99 44/100

 

Specifications
Frequency Response: 0 Hz to beyond 400 kHz (±2dB)

Outputs: 99.99999% silver RCA and XLR

Other Details: 3,000 year aged silver employed throughout. All components custom made by hand using ancient Buddhist Monk techniques. Some parts only capable of being made by a man wearing a pointy hat during nights with a full moon due to effects of the moon's magnetic nature.

Impedance: Variable input/output with custom autoformer that senses only what is absolutely necessary (no more than needed, no less than required).

Weight: 70 pounds

Shielding: Fully shielded from unwanted spirits, ill will, bad karma or rogue government intervention

Price: $1,965,043.69

 

Company Information
น.ส.อุรณ บุัย
ฝ่ายข้อมูละสาทศ
กองาน
กรมกสนา
กระทรวงธิการ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     
 

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