April 1 Special!
The Milto-Burlitz Guide To Reading,
Understanding And Enjoying Audio Reviews
Article By Fred Manteghian of The Audio
Adventure
(With a few updates for 2025)
We'll be the first to admit that reading audio reviews can be a daunting
task. Do you find yourself wondering, "What are they talking about?" or "I
never heard that --- am I missing something?" Well, we reviewers can be an obtuse
bunch when we want to.
Let's look at some of the phrases you'll encounter in your
readings. We'll explain them to you in plain English, and in no time at all, you'll
be an
expert as well.
| When They Say... |
They Mean |
| I can't understand why they put such cheap binding posts on a product of this caliber. |
I
over-tightened the nuts, and both posts snapped... again. |
| Despite it's slight
problems at the extremes, the products strong point was it's rendition of the all-important
midrange. |
This thing has no
bass and treble that actually hurts! |
|
| In spite of the
measurement anomalies, this speaker is clearly state-of-the-art. |
It didn't
sound broken when we gave it our top rating |
The second sample
also failed when I turned it on. |
Red is ground,
isn't it? |
|
Professional reviewer Tyll Hertsens circa 1998.
He has a great sense of humor :)
|
It was definitely
borderline Class A.
|
It isn't that good,
but it's sooo expensive, and they're letting me keep it. G-d I feel so
cheap! |
| Light years ahead
of the competition. |
The competition won't
give us a review sample.
|
| We hire only
the best writers. |
We'll hire any audiophile
who recognizes a pencil in a CAPTCHA. |
|
| After
two months, the unit failed and I requested a second sample. |
The product sat
in my garage for six months until I backed my car over it... and thus
getting the review process underway. |
| This is an incomplete
but promising design from a talented young designer. |
The product sucks
but he has some money left in his advertising budget. |
|
| Better than amps
costing three times as much. |
I have no idea what
I'm talking about, but I like the amp... a lot! |
| This product had
me pulling one record after another from my collection. |
I listened to all
five of my audiophile approved recordings. |
| Michelle,
ma belle, loved the lush midrange of the Beau-Evlav amp. |
Michelle, who is
proficient in sign language, described the amp to me. |
The images in the
soundstage had that elusive and seductive sense of palatable presence.
|
I haven't had sex
since my wife left me and I'm starting to hallucinate. |
|
| These babies had
me playing air guitar. |
I don't know how
to play a real instrument. |
| Every once in a
long while a product comes along that redefines the way we think about audio. |
I love my DSS
satellite system!
Sirius Radio and MQA are Hi-Res lossless, yes? |
|
| This product lacks
some of the subtle refinements we've come expect from a designer of this caliber. |
The product stinks but we don't want to
piss off this famous manufacturer. |
| This preamp is
the new reference! |
We aint giving it
back, and we aint payin' for it either! |
High-Performance Audio Reviews
