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Celebrating 29 Years Of Service To Music Lovers |
High-Performance Audio Reviews
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A customer walks into a Hi-Fi store with his
girlfriend to help her make a decision
on which speakers to purchase:
Boyfriend: See, that's what i've got (he
says to his girlfriend as he
points to the Definator X-1
speakers).
Girlfriend: Yes, it's really pretty.
(The salesman approaches)
Salesman: Over here we have a great speaker.
Consumerphile Stereo has rated it
"Best Buy".
Boyfriend: What do you think of this one?
(Pointing to the Definator X-1s)
Salesman: The Definator is a GREAT marketing
idea, but it's really not a good speaker.
We give it a 500% markup and then
discount it 50% off so the customer
Thinks he's getting a good deal and
we still make a bundle.
Girlfriend: But it's so big and impressive.
Salesman: Size means very little. Bigger
isn't necessarily better. I sound
like Dr Ruth Westheimer.
Girlfriend: You mean the Definator is like, a, um...
Salesman: Well, the Definator is popular with men
who like to have...
Girlfriend: Bigger equipment?
Salesman: Exactly!
In another scene we have... A young man with long hair, wearing
laid back cloths, and a flannel shirt
is wrapped around his waist enters
the store:
Dude: Hey, YO! Wanna sell me
a stereo?
Salesman: Yeah, I'll help ya'.
Dude: I'm lookin' for somethin'
REAL HOT but I don't
wanna get ripped off.
Know what I mean?
Salesman: OK. You're lookin' for
some REEEEEEALLY HOT
speakers right? Not just
somethin' you listen to,
but something you can
feeeeeeel, right?
Dude: Y E A H !!!
Salesman: When it comes to a great
stereo you can't beat
B I G S P E A K E R S.
I'm talking big speakers
with big woofers. Like this...
You could get this speaker
with a little eight inch woofer,
or this one with a ten inch woofer.
OR even this one with a
twelve inch woofer. BUT I can
see by the look on your face you
want somethin' even bigger!
Dude: F ^ < K Y E A H!!!
Salesman: F^<K YEAH is right! We gotta
go to the "Big Room" for this.
(As the salesman and the dude walk into the
room in the rear of the store. The salesman
opens the door and exclaims...)
Salesman: THE BIG ROOM!!!
The flagship of the Definator
line. The PB-0002, I have a
pair of these myself.
THIRTY INCHES of thigh
slappin', blood pumpin',
nuclear brain damage!!!
Dude: Bitchen! What's it cost?
(As the salesman start to turn up
some cool death metal rock at
a really loud volume level)
Salesman: That's the beauty of it.
If you can't afford it
f^<kin' finance it!!! Who
cares if it's as big as
Subaru and costs twice
as much, you'll never
have to upgrade it and
when you die you can
be buried in 'em!!!
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