April 2012

Get The Latest Audiophile Craze!!!
Do It Yourself Reviewing
Article By Steven R. Rochlin

  In elementary school we had some lame, yet kinda fun little games. One of 'em was this fun book where you added your own parts of a pre-made sentence by having a friend ask you for a noun, verb... whatever. They added your responses into the sentences to complete the page. In the end you came up with something so totally outrageously funny you laughed the milk through your nose.

Well, it is back and comin' straight at ya for high-end audio reviewing! With the below article we here at Enjoy the Music.com make you you sound like a professional reviewer! Welcome to the ranks of the few, the proud, the totally neurotic. Simply print this page, then have a friend or you yourself fill in the blanks. WAMMO-BANG-O and eat a mango you are well on your way to being among the few, the low-lifes.... a professional reviewer like me! Once all the blanks are filled in, VEEOLA, you got yourself a ready-for-prime-time review you can send to a magazine editor for publishing. Imagine the huge paycheck arriving in your PayPal account so you can take your loved one out to dinner. Would you like to SuperSize that meal?

____________________________________________. So that brings us to
               (Add some catchy beginning here)

this _______ of a unit called the ___________________. Upon first opening the box I noticed
       (adverb)                              (name of audio product)

how _____________ the designer made this unit appear. You could sense how the designer's
      (describe a look)

___________ ideas were implemented into making this a very unique unit. I especially liked the
(state of mind)

__________________________________________.
(adjectives and output device. i.e.. tube, solid-state, etc.)

After careful setup it was time to see how this unit sings. One of my favorite recordings is

_______________. There's something special about the way this music's ________________
(name of recording)                                                                            (frequency spectrum)

was recorded which makes some systems sound great or go home crying for mommy.

Especially the way the ________________ sounds that really sets this recording apart. Upon
                                 (musical instrument)

careful audition it was easy to tell how the ________________________ really _______ and
                                                        (same product name as used above)      (adverb)

___________. Even my close friend, __________, was astonished! It was only when my
   (adverb)                                           (person)

friend and I turned the volume up did we notice that the soundstages became too _________.
                                                                                                                         (size)

It was as though some kind of ____________ made the stage a bit too _________________
                                                 (lingerie)                                          (erotic description)

It was time to see if this unit could really jam. Reaching into my vinyl stash I grabbed the most

awesome recording of ____________________. Now this is music to _____ to! In the middle
                         (worst musical performer or group)                          (verb)

of the recording i began to feel _______, which made me want to _______. This may be due to
                                              (feeling)                                     (action)

the ________ quality capacitors used in the power supply. ___________ can this thing _____!
      (height)                                                                     (interjection)                       (verb)

MAN-O-MAN, even my ___________ started to _______ as the music was playing. It was
                                 (name of a pet)               (action)

at this time I realized the music was ________ too ______________. ________________!!!
                                                      (adverb)      (noun ending in "ly").  (Strong interjection)

Well, after a good bit of music it was time to really get things cookin'. So I took out my

favorite recording of ____________ and ___________. Gotta tell ya, this recording can
                            (breakfast food)    (cooking utensil)

surely can't be beat. Listening to it, it was as if the ________ of the __________________
                                                                          (adjective)        (breakfast food as above)

was real. In fact it was so (same adjective as above) that we listened to it again. Getting a

good handle on how this unit reproduced music was really easy. Since I regularly attend

live concerts like __________, __________, and __________ my ears have been tuned to the
                         (rock band)    (jazz band)          (orchestra)

real thing. Sometimes it gets depressing after hearing a great concert by _____________,
                                                                                                         (name of band)

then going home and listening to my music reproduction system. Though with this yummy

in my system the music really is _________. So after spending a long time with this piece
                                                 (adjective)

I can confidently say it's among one of those few units that makes me feel _________
                                                                                                               (feeling)

and _________. __________________________________________________.
        (feeling)         (add some closing comments that link to your opening comments)

Highly recommend and rate it in our Top 2000 Components with _____ Stars & Clovers.
                                                                                             (number)

I'm buying the review sample!

So my friends there you have it. Simply copy this article and off ya go to your local "high-end" store as an official Enjoy the Music.com reviewer. If you're already one of those reviewer types, then send this article to your editor for publishing and sit back as the money rolls in. See, it's not so hard after all! Please feel free to share this with your friends and loved ones. After all, we should all be our own reviewer and share our extensive knowledge with others. Who better knows what we like then ourselves? Take care my friends and as always...

Enjoy the music,

Steven R. Rochlin